Prince on Bigfoot’s head is now $2.1M

If you’re a Sasquatch in Oklahoma you’ve officially been put on notice.

A few short weeks after state Rep. Justin Humphrey proposed a bill to legalize the apprehension of mother nature’s greatest hide-and-seek champion, along with a bounty of $25,000, the reward has now swelled to $2.1 million.  

“State tourism officials are now developing a Bigfoot promotional campaign that includes license plates, decals, an annual commemorative tracking license and ‘Bigfoot checkout stations,’” the local CBS station reports.

The plan at present is to allow businesses along State Highway 259A to peddle annual Bigfoot tracking permits and the earnings from the sales would be put toward assisting the local communities.

Humphrey’s district is teaming with the heavily forested Kiamichi Mountains, where an annual Bigfoot festival already attracts many tourists and nature lovers.

Last year’s festival lured tourists from far and wide, saying:

“Explore the lure of Bigfoot and discover what new information some prominent Bigfoot field researchers have to share at this three-day gathering nestled in the heart of Oklahoma’s densely wooded Kiamichi Mountains. Whether you’re a skeptic, enthusiast, believer or a true encounter veteran, you don’t want to miss this beloved annual festival.”

Adding a reminder to the travelers, “Church services will start at 10am on Sunday morning.”

“Establishing an actual hunting season and issuing licenses for people who want to hunt Bigfoot will just draw more people to our already beautiful part of the state,” Humphrey explained in a statement on the licenses in January.

D.W. Lee of the Mid-America Bigfoot Research Center does not like to call the animal by the name Bigfoot, instead preferring the more respectful and unfamiliar label of “the creature.” Lee has studied and hunted the creature for years. 

“A mix between an orangutan and a human,” he described. “I’ve had 26 encounters that I can say was actually a Bigfoot.”

However, as a warning to anyone feverishly loading their 12-gauge, this license is not “Dead or Alive” and would only apply to the trapping and release of the supposedly mythical creature. It is not a license to kill Bigfoot.

Rep. Humphrey and his office have not yet commented on potential fines or other legal penalties if someone manages to slay the elusive beast. 

The Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation spokesman Micah Holmes was unprepared on how to deal with the groundbreaking proposal. He said to television station KOCO that his agency refuses to recognize the legendary sasquatch, and dismissed the suggestion, saying they only use science-based research in matters of wildlife management.

“We use science-driven research, and we don’t recognize Bigfoot in the state of Oklahoma,” Holmes stated. 

The wildlife department seemed confused why the bill creates a whole new season and license for something they refuse to acknowledge even existences.

“Uh, surprised we haven’t heard that proposal before,” Holmes remarked.

Humphrey has stated that his grand design is to bring in tourists by ensuring safe fun at a fair price. That is, unless someone manages to actually bag themselves a genuine Bigfoot lurking in the wilds of Oklahoma.

The announcement created a stir on social media, with one user commenting, “That’s a good thing. Now I won’t have to illegally hunt Bigfoot anymore.” 

“What’s the bag limit and size requirements?” Another curious potential hunter said.

“We need one for Chupacabra and snipe hunting also,” one user suggested. For those who think they have what it takes, want to make history by bagging Bigfoot in Oklahoma, and get rich in the process, unfortunately the animal was last “spotted” nearly 2,000 miles away in Washington State.

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