DEAR CENSORED : THEY TRY

Dear Censored,

The other day you were talking about a Mexican boxer that seemed genetically Irish. Here’s some history that might explain it. Check out The Saint Patrick Battalion, lead by John Riley, during The Mexican American War. I think you’ll find it interesting. Below I’ve included an article about it, a song about it, and a clip from a movie about it called One Mans Hero. Tom Beringer does perhaps the worst Irish accent that I’ve ever heard (go to 3:00 of the clip). 

Great show, 

-Don 

https://www.irishpost.com/life-style/saint-patricks-battalion-seven-things-about-the-little-known-irish-war-heroes-executed-in-mexico-for-turning-on-the-us-army-101001


Dear Censored,

Exclusive — Ben Carson: ‘Child Abuse’ to Prey on Children’s Curiosity with Transgender Ideology 
https://www.breitbart.com/radio/2021/02/26/exclusive-ben-carson-child-abuse-prey-childrens-curiosity-transgender-ideology/

-Christine

Dear Censored,

Hilarious video – Indian cow manure fight

-Tim

Dear Censored,

‘m not sure if you’ve seen this trailer or not but it looks pretty funny and it has Owen Benjamin in it.

(It’s not a real movie)

I dont know if you’ve seen it or not, although I’m sure you have since you’ve seen everything, and it is from 2015 but if not, check it out. It might actually be pretty entertaining if it was made into a real movie though lol

– Josh

Dear Censored,

Ken Ham, the man a caller recently mentioned in your discussion about “change of kind” in evolution, is featured in Bill Maher’s anti-Christian documentary “Religulous” from 2008 ( https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815241/ ).

Timestamp 0h0m11s.

Also. I took your advice, put a ring on it as soon as I finished my Army contract, been married 2 years now, producing a 1 year old boy plus a baby girl on the way. You’ve been like a father to me, as I grew up without one. Thank you.

I love you more than a friend,

-Morgan

Dear Censored,

Here’s a slide from one of the courses I’m taking at NYU thought you might get a kick out of it. They aren’t able to talk about SJW trash much in my major thankfully. But they sure try. 

-Tom

Dear Censored,

Check out Tom’s new video about CLOWN WORLD…he says alot of the stuff Gavin has been saying… Possibly a subscriber. Thanks for calling

– Jason

Dear Censored,

Proud Boys aren’t officially a terrorist organization in Canada. I’m a law student in Ontario, so I’ve been doing some digging on how a group is designated a “terrorist” organization here, and it has nothing to do with our parliament. The government does not tend to do this because it is meaningless, so in this case it was purely political, and actually bad form for Canadian politics. Only the RCMP and CSIS can add or remove groups to our terrorist list. And, the head of the RCMP says he does not intend to add PBs to the list at the moment (I think he also denied adding the other, actually racist groups because they aren’t terrorists either lol). We have a distinct separation of powers in regards to this to stop political parties from arbitrarily adding or removing a group. The fact that the NDP kept repeatedly calling for this to happen, and the fact our parliament voted in favour of their retarded motion, shows that every last one of our politicians is either ignorant of Canadian procedure and law, or simply don’t respect it. I think it’s more the latter, because enough of them are lawyers or law professors (but they probably went to Windsor). 
Anyway, can we get more Car Guyz soon please. Funniest thing I’ve seen on your channel. 
Best,

-Ryder


P.S.  None of your Creationist callers (or Ryan) seem to understand that genetics has conclusively proven evolution. Evolutionary biologists can literally extract genetic data from a tooth fragment or bone fragment, and determine how much genetic similarities it has with other living organisms. This is how we discovered Neanderthal DNA in the human genome. If Jennifer Tennis wants to watch one species turn into another (which she claims there’s no evidence for), tell her she can watch this with her own eyes in a virology lab. Viruses literally evolve thousands of times in a human lifetime, and often become distinct species. This can be observed in real-time (would be really fucking boring though). I feel bad for you because it has to be tiring arguing with and working with a fag who was clearly kicked in the head by a horse as a child, but you are a real Christian for doing this. 

Dear Censored,

This is a poem you can share on your show if you would like as to promote fatherhood . Love you.

When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting….the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports…

Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches….

You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning….and try to soak in the magic of those moments.

You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames…and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love…no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.

Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.

In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.

You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time….

Then suddenly hours turn into days…days into months…and months into years.

That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons…suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.

And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home….gets filled with silence and solitude.

You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them….but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.

So you hold on as tight as you can…wondering how time passed so quickly…feeling guilty that you missed something….

Because even though you had 20 years…..it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.

You ask yourself so many questions…

Did you teach them the right lessons?
Did you read them enough books as a child?
Spend enough time playing with them?
How many school parties did you have to miss?
Do they really know how much you love them?
What could I have done better as a parent?

…..When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

And all you can do is pray….hope….and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life….that at times leaves you exhilarated….while others leave you heartbroken.

But one thing is certain…..it’s never enough time…

So for all the parents with young children…whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness…
Exhausted day in and day out…

Soak. It. All. In.

Because one day….all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners…

All come to an end.

And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings….

They’ll fly…

-Joe

Dear Censored,

I had to complete a sexual harassment training last month for the company I work for (headquartered in San Diego). The company is entirely remote, so maybe there’s some kind of virtual rape epidemic they’re combatting. Anyway, this segment on gender was especially hilarious to me. Enjoy! 0:45-3:03 (although I recommend the whole nearly 4 min video!)

xoxo
-Megan


PS dinosaurs might not be real. Stay strong aryan.

Dear Censored,

I have made art for beef squad and I made this Samurai themed art for GOML! Probably gonna get buried in the mailbag, but I wanted to give back to the show using my skills as an artist. Love the Censored.TV family! 
I want to draw you with my heels on,

-Christianos 

Dear Censored,

Turns out there is an actual black Rashida Jones that is president at MSNBC lol. 
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/all/rashida-jones-named-next-president-msnbc-n1250296

Don’t want yall to be spreading misinformation 😉
Have a good weekend Gavo and Fruity Booty.


-Adam

Dear Censored,

Have you ever seen this hilariously-bizarre short film that would air on HBO in between movies?
It’s about a film reel that lures job searchers into an office to eat them.

-Clifford

Dear Censored,

guy spray paints swastikas everywhere to then pretend to find “hate symbols” to paint over

they all look identical, and how convenient to find such a plethora so near each other to drive from spot to spot to paint over them.
also the tag of text on the video “not all heroes….” cliche adds to the woke cringe. these people are such boring, narcissistic losers.
that channel is filled with other similarly lame, woke crap and then also really crap-tier music videos such as a bagpipe solo.
Best,

-Jon.

Dear Censored,

Surprised you haven’t heard that Englebert Humperdinck is the assumed stage name of one Gerry Dorsey. Eddie Izzard had a great bit in Glorious about what the selection process might have been like:

Engelbert Humperdinck! Yes, he was the man. That’s not his real name; he’s from Britain, but that’s not his name. There’s very few Humperdincks in Britain. He was born Gerry Dorsey, not Engelbert Humperdinck. His parents were not Mr. and Mrs. Humperdinck. They never said,

“What shall we call our son so he does not get the shit kicked out of him at school?”

“We shall call him Engelbert!”

“Good, that’ll work!”

No, his name was Gerry Dorsey, and he released songs as Gerry Dorsey, songs such as ( mumbles )which didn’t work ‘cause nobody could hear what he was saying. And then his managers, obviously, said, “We’re going to change your name, Gerry! It’s the name that’s the problem.” And his name changed from Gerry Dorsey to Engelbert Humperdinck. I mean, I just wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through.

“Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! Slut Bunwalla!”

“What?!”

“All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle…”

“No, Gerry Dorsey, I like Gerry Dorsey!”

“No, we can’t do it… Who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck…”

“No, no, go back one. Go back one. “Engelbert Humperdinck.” That’s it.”Cheers, 
Dynamo
P.S.:I have yet to market it, but since The Scamdemic hit, I’ve been walking into stores (when I absolutely have to) wearing two silicone smoothie straws as nasal inserts, directed downwards, venting out two holes at the underside of my chin. Attached is a pic of my first prototype. I can’t see producing and marketing this without getting in trouble, but as a DIY solution to being ordered to smother ourselves, it’s not bad. 

-Bryan

Dear Censored,


38 seconds is the one I’m thinking of but the whole thing is gold!

-RW

Dear Censored,

I laughed my fuckin ass off at this

-Michael

Dear Censored,

I used to feel sorry for Ryan when you yelled at him, but since discovering that he thinks dinosaurs don’t exist and evolution is made up because it says so in the fucking BIBLE, I now completely understand why you treat him badly, and frankly I hope he dies of AIDS, alone, surrounded by croc jibbits in the Fag Zone.
Please don’t let this become a platform for Ryan and your retard viewers to spout Owen Benjamin horse shit about how the earth is flat and the moon doesn’t exist, apart from anything else you will probably lose the 30% of your subscribers who aren’t retarded.

Sunglasses
-Ross

Dear Censored,

I just wanted to bring up the fact that God spoke spoke about what seems to be dinosaurs around 4,000 years before man even knew  they existed. The Bohemoth’s and the Leviathian.

“Look at the land beast, Behemoth. I created him as well as you.
    Grazing on grass, docile as a cow—
Just look at the strength of his back,
    the powerful muscles of his belly.
His tail sways like a cedar in the wind;
    his huge legs are like beech trees.
His skeleton is made of steel,
    every bone in his body hard as steel.
Most magnificent of all my creatures,
    but I still lead him around like a lamb!
The grass-covered hills serve him meals,
    while field mice frolic in his shadow.
He takes afternoon naps under shade trees,
    cools himself in the reedy swamps,
Lazily cool in the leafy shadows
    as the breeze moves through the willows.
And when the river rages he doesn’t budge,
    stolid and unperturbed even when the Jordan goes wild.
But you’d never want him for a pet—
    you’d never be able to housebreak him!”

-RY

Dear Censored,

Have you watched the documentary on Ginger Baker: Beware of Mr. Baker?
 There’s a funny quote Ginger says about Bonham and Moon at 0:25.

-Evan

Dear Censored,

One thought on “DEAR CENSORED : THEY TRY

  1. The Left is Lester Maddox Reincarnated

    Hey Gav and Vag,

    Maybe you’ve heard of Lester Maddox, the Democrat Governor of Georgia in the late 60s. He was basically the biggest segregationist besides George Wallace. He was mostly famous for his appearance on the Dick Cavett Show, which was such a sensationalized circus that Randy Newman wrote his song “Rednecks” to express how hostile and holier-than-thou the audience was during the incident.

    Anyway, one thing I didn’t realize is that before entering politics, Maddox owned a successful restaurant with his wife in Atlanta. It opened in 1944 and when the 1964 Civil Rights Act passed, he still refused to serve African-Americans. There was a confrontation when three black students came by and simply asked for a table. According to Wikipedia, “Maddox provides the following account of the events:

    ‘Mostly customers, with only a few employees, voluntarily removed the twelve Pickrick Drumsticks [a euphemism for pickaxe handles] from the nail kegs on each side of the large dining room fireplace. They had been forewarned by the arrival of Atlanta’s news media of an impending attempted invasion of our restaurant by the racial demonstrators and once the demonstrators and agitators arrived, the customers and employees pulled the drumsticks [pickaxe handles] from the kegs and went outside to defend against the threatened invasion.'”

    If that doesn’t remind you of the public relations bullshit that universities, mayors, governors and tech CEOs use to refuse service and civil liberties to conservatives, then I don’t know what will.

    By the way, Lester Maddox had a cheesy comedy club act post-governorship, alongside Bobby Lee Fears, a black guy who was also a member of the Ohio Players. He used to be a busboy in Maddox’s old restaurant. Spoooookkaayyy.

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