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NEW YORK CITY CRIME REPORT
•
THE HEAD OF THE GOD SQUAD IS A BOY-LOVING FRUIT. TRUMP HAS SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
A WOMAN IS INJURED FROM TRYING TO SUBWAY SURF. TRUMP IS ON THE CASE.
A GUY SHOT HIS EX-BOSS AS SOON AS HE GOT FIRED. TRUMP ISN'T INVOLVED.
TRUMP'S NEW AG IS BREATHING FIRE OVER "FAT ASS" LETITIA JAMES AND HER BULLSHIT. TRUMP.
NYC CRIME NEVER TAKES A BACKSEAT ON THIS PROGRAM. IT'S FRONT AND CENTER. BUT AT THIS TIME I WANT TO CELEBRATE THE ELECTION OF PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP, EVEN IF HE'S NOT ACTUALLY CONNECTED TO ALL THE STORIES ABOVE.